The Captured Moments in A Nobody’s Life

Lookey lookey, guess who is on it. It is my dear Chua Soo Imm. She gotten herself 1st class honours and her picture was in the newspaper together with others who got 1st class honours. Unbelievable. Huahahahahaha. I so happen to read it when i was in Borneo Ink. Hehehe. And then i went to office today to scan it so that i can put it up here. Hahahahaha.

Seeing that i have been getting some visits from her blog, i guess she is expecting it. But looks like its pretty ok right? My small number of readership would enjoy this. HAHAHAHA.

On a personal note, i am trying to put a lil more effort into my work. But i am still dozing away from my work. No good no good. And i truly hate going to CCM. Also heard a bad news from my partner in crime from office. She is being seconded away. ARGHHHHHHH. My partner in crime. Away…. Susah mau complain lor ~!!!! Aiayayayayayayaa.

But it seems that yesterday, or rather on Deepavali day itself, i seem to have gotten a lil bit more readership than i usually would get on my normal days (pssst readership only about 2-3 average daily). Anyhuuuu, it looks like that is all i have in my mind at the moment. I hope you enjoyed this brief post for a friend. Ciaozuu..

This is the first exam ever for the CPA Australia program. Wonderfully struggling through this time with some of my mind on work and some on play while the rest is figuring out what the fuck is the study materials shitting about. So of course have to make out what the hell they are typing la. Of course this is no easy task at hand considering i am constantly falling asleep. Well It would all be over soon enough.

Well about the work problem, well, i guess i have enough tips so far to help me out in assuring that my future isnt compromised. But as many had reminded me, i would be better accepted due to my genetics than any other things at hand. Truly a wonderful thing especially in this country. I wonder if that would ever change in the few years to come. I say few years because looking too far in the future in this very very unstable period would definately be chaos.

Having said that, shit happens to all of us, especially if it involves loads and loads of cash. Well shit does happen, and life is always happily throwing at us throughout our entire life no. But hey, thats why we have to compromise of course. I also have to save loads and loads of dough for my own future considering how uncertain it is especially during this period of extreme trials. Who knows, maybe i would be able to carry myself to greater heights. But of course there would be prices to pay. That is for certain in this day and age.

Alright, now heading over to my health, well i am being pumped with mega tanker loads of healthy stuff, while i am still making sure that i am eating my favourite food with any disregards to the health hazards. No good, i definately say so too. Well my mother is certainly the main force behind this, but of course she has the backing of my dearly beloved. So i am being forced into healthy stuff by both of the most important ladies of my life. Hahahaha.

Well thats pretty much how life is at the moment. Lets just hope that things would turn out better in the following weeks. Sooooooo till after my exams, ciaozu~!!!

No dark knight here, just a dark future ahead of me. Indeed i really need to find another job to at least supplement myself if things doesnt get any better for me in my current employment. But even now i am greatly affected by the current situation i am in. But then again, i guess they had a greater deal of expectations out of me i suppose. Even i am losing out to VTs according to Manager’s complains to “the boss”. Well i am certainly in a very tough spot now. Currently the spotlight is on me. And i am feeling the fear of this. With all the spotlight on me, i cant see whats ahead of me anymore. The light is certainly blinding. Its like being fucked by the light.

Unfortunately my goals of working in the shadows is not happening. But it seems that after giving it some thought, if i do get out of my current employment, i might be able to find something which allows me to work in the shadows. If you understand what i meant by working in the shadows. Movie and TV celebrities are working in the light. Barrack Obama is working in the light. I on the other hand want to work in the shadow. And apparently this current employment i am in, is like working in the light. There isnt that many jobs that allows me to work in the shadows. So i guess i have to make do with what i got. What to do, cash rules my life, memang takda takda pilihan.

I know i am heading towards my old path of depression at the moment. Maybe when i hit the all time low, i might just tender my resignation. Who knows, no one knows how the future is. Maybe it is time to hit the low again for me i guess. Everyone is bound to hit a high and low in the life. Lets just hope that it doesnt turn out to be a tsunami. In the sense that when a tsunami hits, the water gets pulled down low, really low (doesnt it? especially when you see the shores getting dried up) before it hits. I fear that when the tsunami hits, the outcome would be very destructive, NO~!?

Well lets just hope i dont turn out to be a tsunami kind of case. Lets just hope i can hold my sanity. The crashing and the burning of the hindenburg. Well its a famous accident right? Well it is pertty famous especially in my dept, seeing my dept is so small. My departure might just make it even smaller.

All this shit is really bothering me in my studies for my CPA. But if i do plan to tender, then i might not want to work in this sector any longer. That would result in the redundancy of my CPA. Of course it would be shit, but i have no certainty in my future now.

To add fuel to the fire, i have been listening to My Chemical Romance a great deal of times ….. Certainly not good for the soul. But who cares, it fits my needs, my wants, of my crying soul.

Even as i type this, i have envied people as to they are able to know what they want to do in the life. But i am an aimless soul …… trying to find a path thru the darkness of life. Everyone would say persevere, try to improve and whatever not. I dont seem to be able to take any of the advice given. Fucking irony, as i give advice to others but rejects advice from others. No way things would be good.

Well, this post is just a post for me to vent out all the deep frustrations, anger, and fear. Till next time ciaoz. ….. . .

Well, thats how i shall put my life at the moment. Crash n burn crash n burn ………

Well remember how my manager told me a statement about the if i succeed, i shall succeed greatly, and if i failed, i failed horrendously. Well guess what, i went crashing down like the fucking hindenburg. Flashy and full of shit. Hell yeah …. its not going too good. But this is all my own doing. Looks like ….. its no more downhill, but down the bottomless pit of hell …..

See how la …. i gotta fucking work on saturday now. Even though its suppose to be my study leave. Fuck it lor hor. I dont have much choice … Like i hear from a song … takda takda pilihan …. though those are not the lyrics, but it sounds very alike.

Short one …. till next time … have funz … im going down to hell ….

Well yeah, it was a pretty wasteful week. Its a real pain on the wallets too i guess. I certainly want alot of things, but certainly lack the funds to attain those things. Not forgeting i should be starting my studying stint, but i have this stupid thing called work~! I have to fucking work sial. Been pushing it alot lately. I cant delay it anymore, i have to begin on it i guess. I AM TRYING TO START ON IT BUT TO NO AVAIL~!

Ok, back to reality i should get started on my work, even though slowly, but at least i get started on it at least~! Other than that been craving a few foods at the moment. Cant really get a hold on my appetite. I have been screwing up my eating habit which is bad bad bad~! Oh well, at least i still get to eat. Now considering that exams are coming work deadlines are fucking short, i might not see daylight in the few days to come when i leave office. Why le, its most probably because i am definately gonna do overtime to finish up some ridiculous amount of work. Or not. I dun really know. All i know is that i have irregular flow of work coming in. Sometimes im super busy, then sometimes im not busy. Its just …. sickening so to say.

Ahhh nowadays i always talk about work work. Well what to do, my life is soooooooooo fucking dull, that its basically in front of the comp, eat and sleep. What more you want to hear from me then? The type of shit that comes out of my a**hole? Hahaha JUST KIDDING~!!! I am not that disgusting. But just to say, i havent heard from that person who was asking for forgiveness lately. I dunno. Soo let it be la for now.

Alright to the next thing. I think i shall be removing the video of my Footscray Room on youtube. Im getting a few disturbing comments which are kind of annoying. Soo just informing you guys, it wont be around anymore. But the videos on my tattoos, especially number 16 gets alot of comments, good and bad, but mostly good. Nice to read at times.

Moving on, i wonder if i can make money, or meet my senior’s and managers’ expectations. I highly doubt it though, i am being outshun by the more talkative, more spontaneous, and more active girl. I am of course the silent and always try to think twice before saying anything that might piss anyone off. Trying to be considerate and also trying to make sure i wont get hated. But there are always the consequences. Hahahaha.

Moving, on, I didnt get to watch the Gamarjobat as i had wanted to, but i might plan to watch it during my study leave. Something to elevate the mood i guess after some study time. This is if i can get good seats in the house. Ahhhhhh hopefully i can. Weeeeeee.

Been reading up on some old mangas that i used to read. Which i also missed because i didnt buy the whole series. Dr Slump~!!!! Hoyoyo~! Good old stuff from Akira Toriyama, the creator of Dragonball. Wanna get some older mangas to read. But need to find. The internet is like a treasure chest. Hahahahaha.

Well thats about it for now. Till next time. Ciaozuu.